Good News - ish...

After nearly 2 years of NHS Doctors telling me I have Poly cystic ovary syndrome I went into the surgery, let's say, very determined to get a second scan because nothing I tried had worked, I got a scan and blood test. I have a killer of a bruise on my arm now, the worst I've ever had! Results in a few days and they'll show I have mild hypothyroidism. The scan results were instant; NO CYSTS! Not one, very normal ovaries (borderline textbook). She scanned the rest of my gubbings as well. NOTHING VISIBLY WRONG! No cysts, no abnormalities, nothing that can explain the fact I've not had a period in what seems like forever. Nearly a year since a bleed and several years since a natural period. 
Any ideas lovely people of the world!? 
Mind The Corners x

A little debate....

I expect anyone who watches TV these days has seen the latest in stop smoking campaigns, the one where the car fills with smoke that 'father' is smoking, it says you can't see it but it still does damage (or words to that effect) - well I work in a petrol station. What do most petrol stations and other shops up and down the UK sell? CIGARETTES! So, this women comes in, buys 60 of *brand* cigarettes (thats 3 packets) and when she goes outside, she sits in her car, windows up, lights a fag and drives off. Isn't it silly we aren't allowed our mobiles while driving but we are allowed to hold a fire inches from our faces!
The worst part of that story is the fact that in her car are 3 children. A teeny tiny baby in the front, and 2 kids in the back, not in carseats when they should be. She came into the shop and left them ALONE in the car, then goes outside and fills their environment with smoke.
Now while it seems like I am judging her parenting (WHICH I AM NOT) I am actually judging society. Smoking around children, babies and people in general should be completely frowned on. Screw it, ban smoking. The economy would thrive because smokers would have more disposable income. The hospitals wouldn't have to pay out for self inflicted illnesses. (now, just to cover my bum, not all smokers get sick and not all people with lung cancer have smoked 40 a day for their lives, but studies show a strong positive correlation between ill-health and smoking).
I can't see any drawbacks to banning smoking, OK so people would be annoyed, and cigarette companies would go down, and the companies who sell cigarettes would have to find another way to make money. BUT think of the benefits. 

I have a few friends who smoke and I dont want to upset them and I mean they are truly lovely people and are respectful of my dislike of the 'fags'. I am all for choices and all for using what is availible to us to calm down and chill out. I just want people to not smoke around kids, they don't have a choice that they are stuck in a car with the smoke, it isn't fair on them. 

I look after myself, I eat my 5 a day, exercise (sort of) regularly, my new bmi is 23.3, I drink 1.5 to 2 litres a day don't smoke, last drank at new year and still can't get pregnant, yet these people who are accidentally pregnant and still smoke and drink infuriate me.

On another note, I am now 10st2lbs (ish) which gives me a bmi of 23.3, so i'm still within normal limits and still no period, no ovulation and no pregnancy. FFS! got another appointment next wednesday so will stamp my foot until someone listens to me I think! That is what it feels like, its like I tell them one thing and they don't hear it. They see "no periods for 6months, no pregnancy" and think "make her lose weight - string her along! even though she pays her taxes more than the 3 accidental pregnancies we just dealt with, the people who are 25 and have 6 kids, smoke and drink to their hearts content because they don't get up for work or care about their childrens feelings, the government will look after their children but this broody, well educated lady, we don't need to take her seriously, least of all listen to her feelings!"




Let me know what you think below, or drop me a private email dudders91 at hotmail.co.uk (stop phishing spam!)

ANGER

I'm angry. I have been told by the so called specialist that I have to lose nearly a stone in weight and I will get pregnant. She seems to think that when I lose weight my periods will come back and I'll instantly get pregnant, the thing she hasn't taken into account is my distinct lack of 'normal cycle' prior to the pill. My last period was october but I have a secret. August and October last year I took one of my pills (the contraceptive kind). I thought if I had a period, ovulation would follow. It didn't happen.

I am very angry because no-one understands. I DO NOT have PCOS, my hormones are 'normal' (in that they are flat lining) I don't have too many cysts. 

I'm sick of being treated like a stupid person, I am not stupid, I know what is wrong I just need a doctors fucking signature, but they are all too self absorbed in their 'cuts' and 'figures' that I come last.
At the fertility appointment, the nurse had to ask us if we had ever been bankrupt, had STIs, any criminal convictions and if we did drugs. the drugs thing I understand, maybe the STIs thing, but seriously, such an invasion of privacy. It was a No to all of them so we cleared that bit. 

Thank-you for all the suggestions of what I could do, I appreciate them all. Advice is so precious and I wouldn't dream of being rude, but at this point in my life I am not going to listen, I'm 20, I know everything already!! :P

Mind the corners xxx

Results

So, I've had some tests, blood tests and an ultrasound. The verdict from the doctor is that I have polycystic ovary syndrome. I am far from happy about it, but i've stopped being hung about everything, I've decided i'll get pregnant eventually whether that is in a few weeks or a few years.

I've got an appointment on tuesday to see the doctor to discuss fertility plans. In the meantime i'm going vegetarian for a fortnight to detox and then i'll be straight on the chaste berry and false unicorn root to help induce ovulation. I'm even going to look into crystals because quite frankly if it works i don't care how 'hippie' or 'kookie' it is!

so for now....i have a diagnosis, but it is the worst case scenario in my head!

mind the corners x

Vague result...

So, I went to the GP surgery on Monday just gone. I've got yet another blood test booked in for next Thursday at 10.15. Now it is just a case of go to that, give my best sample and wait for the results.

until the next time friends; mind the corners! x

CRISIS

So, I'm 19 and I'm driving myself insane so I thought I would put out a shout for help, or just some companionship. I'm not a particularly open person, I mean I don't hide things from close friends but I wont tell all my problems to the nearest stranger. It takes a while for my walls to fall down so to speak.

right, down to it. Around three years ago (august 08) I had a miscarriage and since then I have been so incredibly broody. BUT, my other half (whom I shall refer to as Pixe) is in the middle of a college course and apparently isn't ready for a baby yet. None of this is a major problem, I mean it causes slight frictions but nothing we can't cuddle and make-up over. I respect him enough to not go behind his back and sabotage condoms and such, I love him enough to let my body sour and sag whilst i wait for him to decide we should have had kids while we were younger!! 
Anyway, the reason I wanted some support was because over new year (2010-2011) I had a period. I know, sucks to be me! I've not had one since. I'm not pregnant (trust me I must have done close to 50 tests by now). There is an inkling like everyday but that is soon crushed by the reality of what I might be facing....
Amenorrhea. The absence of periods in a woman of reproductive age. That is what I have, as much as one can possess a syndrome or disease. Now, while some may read this and think "lucky cow!" others may read this and completely relate. If you are the latter person, please get in touch, I'd love to reach out to you in the hope you can do the same for me. 
My mum has under-active thyroid disorder. She was diagnosed because she was losing her hair (slowly) she was tired all the time and she had amenorrhea. These 'symptoms' are the same as mine but my doctor said I'm anaemic. I've been on iron supplements since January because of hair loss. The blood test the doctor did showed that my iron levels were slightly low and so she put me on iron supplements which I took and I feel no different. 
I could have under-active thyroid like my mum. I could have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. OR I could just be broken. My GP surgery has stupid guidelines when it comes to levels of hormones in the blood. 
OK, enough of me rabbiting on. Support would be very much appreciated. Pixe helps all he can but with the prospect of never being able to naturally conceive a baby, never feeling that "o shoot, I missed my period...I'm pregnant." All of my future pregnancies will be planned and convoluted and so not what I want! If I can get pregnant at all. One thought keeps going through my mind.....what if I was never pregnant before and never will be.
That is enough from me.
Bed time. 
I LOVE YOU WORLD!